i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
