Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
