Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
