it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
