just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
