She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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