Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
