shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
