If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
