i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
