i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
should my penis look like a turkey
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
