is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
