Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wish you could order shots online.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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