apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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