it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
