You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
