So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
