This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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