Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
