he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
