I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
