Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
