so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
