ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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