I look better un-naked...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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