this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
