it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
