by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I need to wash the frat house off of me
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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