Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Still dying that you shit outside
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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