Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
and eventually we just all took our pants off
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
