how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
