Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
