You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My feet surprised me
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
