if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
