all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
