I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
