hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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