happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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