We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
