things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
