your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
