i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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