I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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