They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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