There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
