and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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