we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
