im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize