I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
