So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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