Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Of course I have a pirate flag
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
