I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
