Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
