dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He kissed a someone with a penis
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
