I'm so fucking centered right now
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
this will be a night to untag.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
