If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
