Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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