Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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