make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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